How to build real friendships
Andy Crouch on how using social media less doesn’t mean missing out on what everyone else is talking about.
Andy Crouch answers the question: “I know I use social media too much, but so do all my friends, and if I don’t go online, it means missing out on what everyone else is talking about. Is there any way to disconnect without being left out?“
- What is your initial reaction to the video?
- Do you resonate with the question behind the video – of wanting to disconnect, but not wanting to be left out?
- Do you have any rhythms for how you use technology, and if so, what are they? If not, are there any rhythms you’d like to put in place?
- Read Simon Smart’s article ‘The art of missing out’.
- Do the Sentence-Phrase-Word Thinking Routine for this article.
- What new perspective does this article add to the conversation around tech rhythms and feeling ‘left out’?
- Read the short column ‘Before you click’. What is your reaction to the filter Natasha puts in place for her clicking habits at the end? How would your use of technology change if you asked yourself: How will this help me love my neighbour?
When I think about disconnecting, I think less about all or nothing as rhythms. It’s not good for any of us to be always on; it’s often good for us to stay in touch with the people who matter to us. And so we can do that with a rhythm. So, you don’t have to check every moment – those threads, those texts, will stay there for an hour or for an afternoon or even for a day. So what I try to do is just check in to the streams of media that I use and the social media that I use just a handful of times a day. And that actually keeps me very much up to date on what I need to know and the people I want to be in touch with, but allows me to spend most of my time not absorbed in the screen but eyes up, head up, attention out to the world and the real people around me.